7 tips for parents

There is no formal training required for becoming a parent. While some people Rosetta Stone software are lucky enough to rely on the experience of their own childhood and use their own parents as role models for good parenting, others are not so lucky. In fact, their experience from childhood often serves as a warning of what not do as a parent. For the latter, parenthood can feel like navigating a vessel without a compass — a bewildering task, to say the least. One of the most challenging tasks parents face has to do with disciplining and setting structure for their children. We know from experience and research that parents who are either too strict or too lenient can cause unintended problems down the line.Below are some suggestions that can help parents facilitate smoother interactions with their children.1. Practice discipline, not punishment. It is well-established that children do well when they know what is expected of them and the consequences of their actions. It is also well-established that punishment yields more problems than it solves. Corporal punishment, such as spanking, increases Rosetta Stone Latin America Spanish the likelihood that the child will model aggression in the future. Furthermore, children who are punished are more likely simply to hide their actions, rather than behave out of some inner conviction of what is right or wrong, appropriate or inappropriate.2. Anticipate difficulties. Discipline not only entails intervening when the child has done something wrong, but, more importantly, anticipating problematic behavior and intervening beforehand. If we know, for example, that our child is likely to get restless at a restaurant while waiting for the food, we are better off anticipating the situation and preparing for it.A parent may bring half a bagel to “hold the child over” while the food comes. Or he may make sure he has some activity, such as crayons and paper to occupy the child.Often, the child can be encouraged to bring a small toy or a favorite book that distracts him or her. The possibilities are endless. What doesn’t work as well is to expect the child to sit quietly, while instructing him to behave without providing some alternatives. This is what I call setting the child up for misbehavior, so that we can intervene reactively.3. Try to see things through your child’s eyes. There has been much written lately about the importance of a parent mentalizing for the child. Simply put, it means attempting to take the child’s perspective, depending on his temperament, past experiences or history, and his or her stage of development.Mentalizing is easier done when we are not upset and almost impossible to do when we are upset. However, by purposefully attempting to see things through the child’s eye, we not only increase empathy, we are also able to see gaps in our Rosetta Stone English sensitivity to the child’s needs. Parental sensitivity is a critical factor in raising children who feel safe and secure.4. Praising good behavior works better than criticsm. Criticsm can diminish self-esteem over the long run and, in the short run, it hampers the quality of our interactions.5. Good behavior is modeled by you. Treat your child with respect and courtesy and conduct yourself similalry with others. You are more of a model for your child than you realize. If you do not tolerate your child using foul language, you would do well to avoid such language not only in your interactions with your child, but also in your interactions with others.6. Take a time out. When you have become upset, take time, if possible, to distance yourself from the situation so that you can address certain issues with equilibrium. It’s important to recognize that some times you need a time out.7. Choose the the right moment. Learn to recognize moments that lend themselves for teaching and learning. You would be surprised how much occurs during mundane activities, such as driving, walking, or simply sitting around with your child. In those relaxed moments, your child is often more open and more receptive to learning valuable life lessons. There has been much emphasis lately on the importance of spending quality time over quantity. Unfortunately, this has become an excuse for limiting time with a child and then trying to pack everything in. An [Rosetta Stone] important part of life is enduring boredom and, truth be told, quantity of time is equally important.Raising a child can often, and surprisingly, bring up unresolved issues that one had hoped were done and dealt with. If this is the case, you do well to seek help from a professional, such as a therapist or counselor. Doing so will not only help you but also help the development of your child.— Christopher Christian, Ph.D., is a licensed psychologist and psychoanalyst; director of the Community Counseling and Parent Child Study Center; and an assistant professor in the Graduate Psychology Department at California Lutheran University in Thousand Oaks.